Review of the Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour

Sure thing, here’s a revised version of the article:

—

So, let me tell you about this wild ride called the Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour. Seriously, when I heard about it being a launch title for the new Switch 2, my curiosity was piqued. Like, it’s this game that’s more of a guided tour where you basically get to play through the hardware’s features with all these mini-games and quizzes. Sounds bizarre, right? But, hey, if anyone can make weird work, it’d be Nintendo. Now, here’s the kicker: it’s a ten-buck game, not a freebie with the console. I almost lost interest right there. Still, being one of the few launch titles, I thought, “What the heck, let’s give it a shot.” Spoiler: It didn’t even come close to my low bar of expectations.

Picture this: The game’s like a stroll over giant versions of the Switch 2’s gear. You’re trekking across these enormous Joy-Con 2 controllers and such. The whole idea kinda reminds me of Astro’s Playroom — you know, that free gig that came with the PS5? Except that was a blast and didn’t cost me a dime. Nintendo, on the other hand, made this brain-numbing thing and wants ten bucks for it. Mind-boggling.

Most mini-games here are a snooze — feels like I’m in a dull version of WarioWare. They’re super short, and just when you start, it’s over! There’s this one mini-game where you’re dodging spike balls as a UFO with the Joy-Con 2. Sounds fun until they add stars to collect, and it’s like… okay, this doesn’t make it any better.

And, oh boy, don’t get me started on the accessories situation. Some games demand extra controllers, or even a camera. Like, what? It’s maddening that they’ve locked parts of the game like this. I found myself staring at the screen, thinking, “Why am I paying extra to get content? Shouldn’t this be available out of the box?” It’s like a confusing maze of requirements.

Let’s switch gears — sorry — the tech demos, though, they offer a sliver of cool. One had me flipping the Joy-Con 2 as motorcycle handlebars. Who even thinks of that? The HD Rumble 2 tech is where the magic’s at, if developers bother tapping into it.

As if mini-games and tech weren’t enough, there’s “Quizzes.” Yup, quizzes, my friends. Like, school kind of stuff, right in the middle of gaming. They dot around the place, throwing Switch 2 trivia at you. Not gonna lie, I skipped most of them. They just made everything drag on when all I wanted was a fun distraction.

So you wander around these oversized console replicas, chasing stamps — these little checkpoint things. Collect enough and move to the next area. It’s far from thrilling. Seems more like a chore than adventure. Which brings me to the big question: Should you fork over a tenner for this adventure? Well, frankly, it feels more like I paid to play a fancy ad for the console’s extras. I mean, come on, when did gaming turn into buying ads, right?

If they’d just offered this game for free, I probably wouldn’t fret about it. It’s priced like a premium content piece, yet feels like it’s designed to nudge you into buying extra, pricy stuff for your Switch 2. Which is… ugh.

To wrap it up, another random tidbit: someone said they spent a whole three hours rounding up all the stamps. That includes a solid 20 minutes battling with the camera. You’d have to really love these mini-games, or be really bored, to want to dive into this. But, hey, if you’re waiting for more exciting Switch 2 exclusives, maybe it’s something to fill the time.

And that’s the messy scoop, folks.